3 posts tagged “dad”

I don't know what to do or say or even think. I'm so afraid and so sad. I wish I could be angry at him.

I don't want my dad to leave. I don't think he wants to either, but I think he just doesn't know what to do. He just turned fifty, he's going deaf, he hates his job, he has to live half the month in another city because of said job, and he is just so unhappy that he thinks a divorce will solve it.

Yet in the process he's making his children miserable.

I am so confused.

Last night my mom told my dad all this stuff about me being sick and missing school and the school discriminating against me and taking my mom to court and so on. If you knew my father, you would know why she kept these things from him, he is not violent but he is not the most approachable human beings. He is quiet and stone faced and his approval means the most to his family because he shows it so sparingly. Last year my mom was explaining something to him that he probably didn't agree with, and he said, "You take care of her health and school stuff you always have." So that's what she did and she didn't bother him with it any longer.

During this conversation last night he was okay, until the end. He got angry and told my mom he wouldn't go to court with us and so on. He was angry because she'd been keeping things from him. Like he's never.

This morning as he was getting ready to leave for work he entered the living room,
"When is the court date?" he asked my mom.
"The twenty-third," my mom responded, "Are you going to divorce me?"
"We'll talk about that tonight." A half hour later after I consoled my crying mother, I sent a text message to my father asking him if he was leaving us. He said that was for him and my mom to discuss tonight and if he did or did not it had nothing to do with us kids.

I don't know what would happen if he divorced her. We would have to move, she can't pay our mortgage off her disability ($1100 a month). I can promise this, if he divorces my mother I will not forgive him I will not visit him I will not let him walk me down the aisle, you don't throw 25 years down the drain like it was nothing.

I was sitting on our couch in the office, my dad was sitting on his desk chair at the computer and my mom was in the living room playing with the dogs, when my mom goes "Uhck!" I look over to find her holding up the dogs' toy, which resembles an anteater with wheels attached to it.

My dad sees the anteater and goes, "Oh yeah he has a rip, his anus is wide open."
"Eww," I say. My mom brings over the toy and stands next to the couch I'm sitting on.
She says, "Yeah he's uh wet himself."

Dad goes, "It might be a cloaca instead of an anus."

"Ewww that's disgusting," I say again.

With his mischevious smile my dad asks, "Do you know what a cloaca is?"
"No, and I really don't want to know. It sounds gross."

"Well, you know how brids don't poop and pee they do it at one time?" I nod, "The cloaca is where that comes out." I shudder to think of it.

My mom jumps in and says, "It makes for a wonderful undereye circle creme."

My dad nods, "Yeah and it's that stuff underneath football players' eyes that reflects the sunlight."

"That sucks for them," I say even though I know they're joking.

My dad smiles and nods, "No you should feel sorry for the team managers, they're the ones that have to go get the shit."

And a few minutes ago I called to my mom to ask what the cloaca was called, I couldn't remember. A minute later  she comes into the living room and looks at me, "Why, are you thinking of getting one?"