The birth of my brother 22 years ago automatically secured me with a built-in room mate if ever I needed one, and well, the time has come. I asked him some months ago, following me telling Chris I want a divorce, if he would be interested in being my room mate. Three weeks ago I became full-time status at work, thus allowing me to think more strategically about living on my own. Him and I found a place, and will be moving in sometime next week. There are several caveats that come to mind, however:
- Neither of us plan on being in San Diego for very much longer (much to my parents dismay, I'm sure). Referring back to my previous post, I plan on being in San Diego no longer than 1 more year, and my brother will be discharging from the Navy in 2011 to join the Marine Corps.
- Related to caveat 1, we need to decide within the next 6 months if we're going to continue living there until he leaves (meaning I will be paying rent for a place I won't be living in for 3 months and potentially not be going back to at all after I complete Officer Candidacy School).
- We have absolutely nothing to put in our house besides what little belongings we both have, a TV and various game consoles that are rightly his, and a cat that is rightly mine. By some act of God, I managed to secure a mattress and two couches from various coworkers for a small fee. Supposedly it's all in great, gently used condition. At this point, I couldn't give a shit...
- Despite being able to "afford" living on my own, I will be living just within my means. I will be broke for a long, long time, which will make me leaving for OCS that much more meaningful.
But everything about the situation makes those three (and I'm sure there are more...) points completely worth the trouble. Our situation is entirely temporary. Just the fact that I'll be on my own, with my own room and own space, is more important to me than any of the negative aspects that may arise.
Not all those who wander are lost...
...life moves on. I'm still living, still breathing, happy with myself and the choices I've made with my life. Instead of succumbing to the split-second thought "it's 9 in the morning and well, I'd rather stay in bed all day", I realized not a whole lot gets done when you're just laying there. The same could be said for just about everything in life. Every day, I am faced with a situation that proves just how true that is. So I get up, time and time again. Pull back the covers and face the world, because the world will go on without me regardless.
I am on the move. In 3 months, I will be done with nursing school and ready to face the world. I want to join the Navy as a nurse; I am forcing myself to meet new challenges that I never thought I'd ever choose to take on. If I do this, I will be moving to a completely different coast for 3 months, by myself. Who knows what kind of physical and mental challenges I'll go through once I'm there to prepare me for the military life. On top of that, where will I decide to "end up" once I'm done with my training: back to San Diego, stay on the east coast, go overseas? The possibilities will be endless, and I can't wait. This is exactly the kind of thing I've been waiting for, what I've broken away from my old life for. To not only find myself, but to make myself.
The stress, frustration, and anguish of a life gone wrong are dredged up constantly. I need a fresh start to mend this broken heart. Granted, everything that ever happened to me was partially because of me, but it doesn't hurt any less. I look forward to moving on from all of this, creating a new image for myself, and coming home eventually to find that time really does work miracles. At least, that's what I'm hoping for. I will miss my family and friends more then anything, but I'm no stranger to this. For this I am thankful for coming from a Navy family. I am no stranger to change; in fact, I often times crave it. Stability, stricture, and discipline are some things I need. I'm far too spoiled for my own good, I need a swift kick in the ass and a little growin' up to boot. I also want to see the world (for free) and the spare change I'll collect along the way isn't a bad incentive.
Divorce is hard, heartbreak is hard too. But an unhappy life is unacceptable. And I am finally happy.
These are my entries for this Christmas e-card competition. If you like my drawings please, please vote for me. Thank you!
x
My last project at uni was to create book covers for Alice in Wonderland (Lewis Carroll) and Perfume (Patrick Suskind) for the 2009 Penguin Design Award. Two book covers in two weeks is a lot of work but I got it done, albeit with some blood (got to watch those craft knives) and tears.
Here's my final cover for Alice, which my second and third year tutor selected as one of their two favourites out of the year (who knows why).
Here's a discarded idea for Alice that had quite liked.
I realised that if there was ever a time for me to update the shop, just before Christmas would be it.
I have new prints in a range of sizes and prices. Soon I will have Christmas cards and copies of Meow Magazine for sale as well. Watch this space. :)
Can you tell I'm a Londoner?
These are for the new issue of the zine the students on my course produce (Meow Magazine). This month's theme is I Love London so this was what I did. I'm also on the editing team this year and we have big plans for it.
This was my first project at uni. Everyone was given colour to research, to be inspired by and to create a piece capturing the essence of. Mine was scarlet and I went down a little red riding hood avenue. I'm getting very into the darker side of fairytales and their prevalence in our culture. This bit in the Guardian about fairytales is definitely worth a read.
Anyway, ironically for a project about scarlet I draw it all in black and white. I carefully cut red riding hood out so that last red page would show through all the way to the first.
Camden Passage, not to be confused with Camden Lock, is an antiques village in Islington. My Granny remembers when it was full of antique silver and jewellery, but now there's more trinkets and vintage clothes. Still fun. I made this book of all the little things I liked. Painted with coffee of course.
I will be the first to say that the scans and photos are bad.
It all started with a visit to a shop called bygones and curious which is full of beautiful old things. I did some drawings and decided to make them into a repetative pattern and it was actually really fun. The original drawings are done in ink and then repeated on photoshop.
The fabulous children's magazine Anorak is holding a competotion to design the winter cover and this is what I came up with. Rather cool - my old tutor and mentor Simon Wild is a regular contributer.
